My coworkers convinced me I was mentally ill today because I used the term “franking machine” which they claim does not exist. The more I said that “franking” was actually the right word, the more it reverberated in my head and just sounded utterly stupid. Apparently, I’m meant to be calling the f***king machine a postage meter. I wonder why f***King was so offensive that it evaded american office supply linguistics. Just an FYI in case you ever find yourself slowly wasting your life away in a US conference room where the geographical placement of the f***king machine and its impact on the billable hour is discussed at length.

Or is she……………..?