Things get pretty wild in NASCAR. Wild and confusing. Here’s what happened at the weekend: top NASCAR driver, Jeff Gordon, won a race, and overtook former (and dead) top NASCAR driver, Dale Earnhardt, in the all-time NASCAR winners list. Full report here. (Not that I’d recommend reading it. If you can garner anything more from it than what I’ve just outlined, I’d be impressed).

After the race, in a heady mixture of fury and beer, NASCAR fans threw their empty beer cans at Gordon. Gordon wasn’t best pleased. But clearly he’d cheered up later that night when he was caught on a fan’s camera phone, full-on kissing his NASCAR teammate, Jimmie Johnson. Neither have deigned to make a statement – but Southern NASCAR fans aren’t happy. They’ve never like Johnson – and now this. How is Jeff going to explain it? Was he drunk? Over-excited? Showing off? Is bored already of his new wife, Ingrid Vandebosch, whom he met at a “croquet event”? Was he giving two fingers to his sponsors? Or his faith? Did he know someone else was watching? Was it all played out for the benefit of a third party? Had he taken something a little stronger than beer? Or did he simply find himself stuck in a situation in which he didn’t know what to do? Has he reconfigured it in his own head as something different from what it was? Are Regis and Kelly going to have him back? Are Quaker State going to boot him out? Is it all over for Jeff Gordon?

“Is it over?” he radioed his crew. “Is it over? Is it official?”

Nobody knew after two separate accidents on the first lap of a three-lap shootout to the finish froze the field and had NASCAR scrambling to make sense of the finish.

Gordon, who was 14th on a restart with 10 laps to go, stormed to the lead a second before NASCAR called a caution after David Reutimann’s engine failed and dumped oil all over the track.

It set up a three-lap sprint to the finish, but NASCAR makes only one attempt to complete it. If caution comes out, the race instantly ends. So when Elliott Sadler bumped the back of Greg Biffle to trigger a wreck, the race was effectively over.

But Tony Stewart was knocked into the wall far ahead of that accident and went spinning down the track into the inside wall. He was fuming as the field passed by him under caution, angrily gesturing at Jamie McMurray.

The fans, meanwhile, figured out that Gordon, who tied Earnhardt last week in Phoenix, was the victor and reacted with the shower of beer cans. The debris cut Gordon’s celebration short, he didn’t do the customary celebratory burnout, instead dodging the cans as he headed straight to Victory Lane.

It was fan reaction Dale Earnhardt Jr. had tried to stave off earlier this week when he asked his fans — who dominate the Talladega grandstands — to throw toilet paper instead of beer cans out of safety concerns.

Apr 272007

It’s a high-paced, edgy drama, following the exploits of a counter-terrorism unit over a single 42-hour period.

I’ve got an idea for a logo – all I need now is a name.

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I dream’d that as I wander’d by the way
Bare winter suddenly was changed to spring,
And gentle odours led my steps astray,
Mix’d with a sound of waters murmuring
Along a shelving bank of turf, which lay
Under a copse, and hardly dared to fling
Its green arms round the bosom of the stream,
But kiss’d it and then fled, as thou mightest in dream.

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Apr 272007

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Apr 192007

in their love of Tagberry.

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Thanks, girls! See you at the Foxhole! xx

Apr 042007

The last lines of a poem about a serial killer:

he’ll catch you
he’ll molest you
then murder you with pride
watch out for the businessman
because he’s the same bunny guy

Then underneath, a note from the author:

in the last line instead of bunny, its supposed to say f***ing guy, but it wont let me say that

Clearly, his computer thought that “bunny guy” was a more appropriate phrase than “fucking guy”. And I think it’s right. The poem is utterly transformed. Where I was bored, suddenly I’m intrigued. I’m wondering if the technique could be applied more thoroughly…?

he’ll catch you
he’ll bunny you
then bunny you with pride
watch out for the businessman
because he’s the bunny bunny bunny

It works. At last: a poem.

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